Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Happy Birthday Son

Dear Rangan,

Its so hard to write, right now. I cannot believe its been one year, since I held you for the first time (and counted your toes and fingers, just to be sure, you know?). I want you to know, how much Balaji and I love you. Its so hard to tell you how much you mean to us and what joy every milestone and every smile bring. Your really are the light of your grandparents eyes. You really are the joy of all of our family.

I was a wonderful mom, before I had you. After I had you, I have no idea what sort of a mother I am. Everything felt so alien and so raw and so intense, that I suppose , I was (am) not equipped to deal. But I did learn. I did put every effort. I gave my all. And I always will.

You taught me infinite things about myself I never knew existed. For that, I thank you.

Being sleepless, fatigued, hungry, tired were nothing compared to being in constant self-doubt. If I was harsh, or treated you with any less kindness or respect than you actually deserved, I am sorry.

I pray everyday, that you lead a beautiful life.

May you sleep with contentment and peace in your heart. May you wake up with a smile and lead a day, that is filled with kindness, honesty, integrity and lots of love.

God bless you Son and Wish you a very very happy 1st birthday.

We love you, and you will never know, how much.