Wednesday, May 21, 2014

I sit in the front seat.

I buckle in the baby in the rear facing carseat. I leave a bunch of toys and books with him. I kiss him and tell him, I will sit in the front. With daddy.
*Gasp* 

I do. I sit in the front. Sometimes I drive, while my husband sits next to me.

We hold hands sometimes.

We talk. A lot.

We fall silent and get lost in our own thoughts, a lot too. And we love our companionable silence.

We play music, a lot.

We share a cup of Coffee.

I sometimes read out directions to him. Totally wrong. We get lost many times. Giggle about them sometimes, argue sometimes.

That shared drive time is precious to me. As is my baby. We are in one car. If he has a need, I will address it.  But I really do not see the need to sit with the baby every single moment of a car-ride (75% of which he is asleep. Duh.).

If you are reading this, and you are a new first-time-mother, I just wanted to tell you that it is okay, to let your baby out of your sight , for a few moments. Its refreshing and a great way of re-connecting with your better-half. 

My baby is precious. Yes. So is my time with my husband. And I love and treasure our car rides so much. So. Much.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Scared

Do you know that feeling?

When you want to tell many stories. But the words do not come.
When you want to sing a song, and you forget the words?

Like you want the sun to shine, and its a stubbornly cloudy morning.
Like you want to dunk your feet in water and there is no way to get to the sea.

You want to paint like there will be no tomorrow, but have lost the colours?
You want to talk to a dear friend, and they are not answering the phone?

Its a scary place to be and I am scared.
Do you know that feeling?

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Happy Birthday Son

Dear Rangan,

Its so hard to write, right now. I cannot believe its been one year, since I held you for the first time (and counted your toes and fingers, just to be sure, you know?). I want you to know, how much Balaji and I love you. Its so hard to tell you how much you mean to us and what joy every milestone and every smile bring. Your really are the light of your grandparents eyes. You really are the joy of all of our family.

I was a wonderful mom, before I had you. After I had you, I have no idea what sort of a mother I am. Everything felt so alien and so raw and so intense, that I suppose , I was (am) not equipped to deal. But I did learn. I did put every effort. I gave my all. And I always will.

You taught me infinite things about myself I never knew existed. For that, I thank you.

Being sleepless, fatigued, hungry, tired were nothing compared to being in constant self-doubt. If I was harsh, or treated you with any less kindness or respect than you actually deserved, I am sorry.

I pray everyday, that you lead a beautiful life.

May you sleep with contentment and peace in your heart. May you wake up with a smile and lead a day, that is filled with kindness, honesty, integrity and lots of love.

God bless you Son and Wish you a very very happy 1st birthday.

We love you, and you will never know, how much.


Tuesday, February 4, 2014

2013 , a flashback

1. Had a baby. That by default made me an expert on pregnancies, lactation and babies in general. Gave lots of free advice to 4 new moms who had babies after me.
Enough said on that front.
2. Travelled to LA and Cancun,Mexico. Major fun was had and good food was eaten.
3. Became a kickass tambrahm cook.
4. Converted baby to a foodie and a Sanjay sub fan. #win
5. Made many many new awesome friends and will always remain thankful to Facebook secret groups for that.
6. Soon to be PC Sriram's assistant at the rate at which photos are being taken.
7. Mastered many rhymes.
8. Killed my blog with my own bare hands, hence reviewing 2013 in the month of Feb 2014.
9. Got incredibly lucky on the husband front. Five years since B and me have been married. He stumped me by being the awesomest new dad in town. No wonder that baby is crazy about him. Woke up every night along with me to soothe the baby. Made and washed.bottles and allowed me a few extra hours of precious sleep. Total rock star husband and dad material ! 

Have a good year , and Oh, if you have any questions about babies, you know whom to turn to.

Toddles!