Monday, December 3, 2012

Happy 4th Year!

Dear Balaji,

"Happy Wedding Anniversary No:4".

Cant believe how time has flown. As I think back of all the wedding madness and all the geenral madness over the last 4 years, it feels soo...right. As if, it were meant to be. As if the years ahead are meant to be.

So, why am I wishing you on my blog and not just write you an email? Well, should the world not know how awesome you are? Or how awesome we are? Or how awesome love is? Come On!!

Thank you for being my dream husband. For actually making me complete things I always leave half-done. For helping me learn new skills. For teaching me to cook, run, learn tamizh. For tirelessly following me around when I make crazy trip plans and helping me see the places I always wanted to see.

For everything you have done for me, I seem to have given you nothing in return. I plan to do that in the next 4 years. I plan to help you achieve your dreams, tick off your bucket list and focus on You for the next 4 years. And 4 years after that, it will be my turn again. Deal? I know you will say "Deal", with an impish dimple.

Oh, btw, please remind me of the deal again when I am busy planning a crazy US cross country road trip or planning my free-fall from 18000ft okay? :-)

Thanks for everything and Happy Anniversary again B!

Stay Awesome.

With tonns of ghee dripping chakkrapongalish love >:D<,
V and our-little-yet-to-be-born ace footballer, who is at the moment kicking away his wishes!

PS: I write this one day in advance, since I want you to read this the first thing tomorrow morning.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Now what?

Well, I don't know the first thing about parenting. Just by observing some parents in the real world, you get a fair idea of what to do and more importantly, what not to do. Here is my compilation of what I will and will not do.

Now, we think and plan and make lists.
I will:
1. I will BE firm, yet treat him with love.
2. I WILL feed him healthy food.
3. I WILL ensure he does one creative activity and one sport other than his school.
4. I WILL expose him to music and languages.
5. I WILL teach him about God and then let him make his choices about his spiritual life.
6. I WILL try my best to be a good parent.
7. I WILL have a life of my own outside of my child and the exciting happenings of his life.
8. I WILL give my husband, family and friends the time and love that they deserve.


I will NOT:
1. I will NOT tell him , "Dont do this, coz I SAID so".
2. I will NOT smother him and bring him up as a sissy.
3. I will NOT let him bully other kids or get bullied.
4. I will NOT let him dis-respect anyone or be unkind to anyone. Children have this tendency to be mean sometimes. I hate mean kids. I cannot bring myself to smile at them. 
5. I will NOT tolerating binge eating or junk food habit.
6. I will NOT brag about my son and his achievements.
7. I will NOT Post random pics of him on Facebook.  He might grow up, see them and be ashamed of me.
8. I will NOT let this blog become a Mommy's blog.

 Apart from all the exciting resolutions that I just made, Let me tell you, I just got kicked. Hard.

And it feels awesome :-)

Friday, November 2, 2012

Coming Soon...

No. This is not a movie announcement. Well..it could be.

Just that, this time, its a movie for a lifetime.

I wish I had a better creative way of expressing this, but..since I do not....Let the picture do the talking.
 
      



And....the party begins in our world filled with madness, chaos, confusion, terror, excitement, joy, anticipation and love.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Tamizh

Learning a language is one of the most enriching things to happen to people. I have been brought up in various parts of India and speak quite a few Indian languages fluently. Sadly, my mother tongue was ignored and I do not know to read or write tamizh.

I take NO pride in admitting it. I feel sad and guilty and even envious of people who can read the language. It looks beautiful on paper. The literature has existed for more than 2000 years and is said to be very rich. I have plenty of time suddenly on my hands and decided to learn a new language. Strangely, I was contemplating French or Spanish or Italian. A friend casually opened the tamizh news app on the iPad and made me read a few letters. I got hooked.

I stared practicing to write the letters to gain familiarity and almost within a week, able to read a few words while they scroll on TV.

I am still not good enough to read an entire article or a story in the newspaper, but I will get there by the end of this year.

This is so liberating and I feel amazingly accomplished!


மீண்டும் சந்திக்கும் வரை,Vasumathi :D :D  

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Sri Velukkudi Krishnan Swamy's Bay Area Visit

The one really really bright spot in our lives right now, is Sri. U.Ve.Krishnan Swamy's visit to the Bay Area.

The schedule and venue details are available at the Vedics website.

Admission is free and all are welcome. Eagerly looking forward to the event and seeing all of you there. 

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Life now...

Life now, is new. Is different. Is more peaceful. I love waking up to birds chirping. Every morning.

Life now, is Quiet. Less polluted. Clean roads. People who stop at stop signs and stop on red and move on green.

Life now is a lot of cooking, baking, eating.

Life now is about greeting random strangers and speaking to them in a sing song voice. Very different from where I come from. The packed elevators where people used to be poker faced, is now, a distant memory :-)

Life now is about learning to drive. With the steering on the left. No gears. More importantly, no clutch. Which means, I still dont know what to do with my left leg.

Life now, is being amazed by how people are so un-self-concious while using the toilets in a mall or anywhere else. The restrooms are well...almost...open? Everytime, I cringe at the thougtlessness of the restroom designers.

Life niw, is all about calculating time zone difference before making phone calls to friends and family..

Yet, I love this change.

Life now, is a life I love.

Life now, is Free of baggage. Full of love.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

The Eighth Year

Dear U,

The day is almost over. But I haven't forgotten to write to you yet. Its been eight years since you left us. Days became months, months became years. Some of us grew up, some of us became wiser, all of us grew old, but we never forgot you. You have to simply take our word for it.

Every year, this day, I wish, it had been me instead of you who was taken away. Every year I miss you more and more. You might have thought people move on. Yes, people do. They grow up. They finished college. They went to work. Got married. Made a life of their own. Yet, they hold you in their hearts like their most precious heartbeat. You simply have to trust me when I say this. The pain and the tears are still fresh. But, why am I telling you this? You already know. Oh, by the way, I heard our favorite family song today and was remembering the time all of us wore pink colored salwars and were singing and giggling. Your smile is still so fresh in my heart. I hope you smiled listening to it once again today.

Stay in peace wherever you are. I love you.

Love,
Vasu

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

The silence

We just moved to our new appartment. And its...quiet. Like really really really quiet. I can sometimes hear my own heartbeat. Its that quiet.

And what do you think I do with so much silence around? I dream. Of a beautiful garden that I am going to have in my patio.

I dream of food to cooked for dinner. I dream of running on the roads, without any worry and without carrying the burden of my nightmares.

I dream of the awesome silence that my husband I share, while he works and while I walk around him searching for something. I dream of a walk around every ailse of the shopping market looking for designer brooms, mat and trash cans.

Then I come back to reality.Then, this silence becomes very loud. Too much to bear and too much to digest.

Oh, this aweful, beautiful, loud silence.

Friday, May 18, 2012

I Hate Nightmares

Have I told you before? I hate nightmares.

Your heart trembles after a nightmare and you have no way to stop it from trembling. You can forget thesleep you were planning to get. Wonder whats the root cause of these bad dreams.

They creep up from somewhere behind a dark corner of your mind. Find you just when you are weak and vulnerable. And pounce on you. Attack you again and again till you wake up screaming or crying or both.

It sometimes feels like they are an extension, a part 2 of a dream you were having in a nap you had short while ago. But that was sweet, and this one...gruesome.

Then it takes hours and sometimes days to forget them. To forget the wailing you heard. To forget the voices that spoke. To forget the words that were spoken.

I dont care about my dreams, they just come and go. Sometimes make me smile and At other times, I dont even remember them.

But, I hate nightmares.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The Move

Two simple words. But they were enough to make me quit my much loved job, pack my bags, give our house on rent, see our beloved Maruti 800 being driven off by someone else and bid that tough goodbye to family and friends.

And twenty three hours later, just like that, you are in a different country.

Where the roads are awesome, cars are gorgeous, people are warm and friendly and homes that have induction stoves.

Day one. I boiled the milk and simply turned the stove off. The milk was supposed to boil and go back down in the same vessel. But no. That damed thing overflowed all over the stove, got burnt, ruined the platform. While our friend came rushing in used up half a tissue roll to clean the mess I made. You know?

So..lesson? Dont enter the kitchen unless there is a damage control mechanism around you. And please ensure that the mechanism is a human who can clean. And clean well huh.

I try to fall asleep. Wake up at 3am. Call mom. Speak to her till 5.3am. Tell her its daybreak and I need to put rangoli on the door. She suddenly exclaims "oh no!! I forgot to pack rangoli powder for you". #rofl

Day 2 onwards, I have my beloved aunt , who watches over me while I cook in the kitchen. Skype with jai is the name of the show, to bolo, Skype ki jai !!!

Day 3, rave and rant to everyone you meet over the 23 bloody % of cholestrol in yogurt.

So far, so funny and cute.

:D

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Special Rendezvous

So, there are ordinary mundane days and there are blessed magical days. Today was one. I am trembling as I write this. My eyes are blurry and there is only one voice that is ringing in my ears.

Dr.Bombay Jayashri.

What. A. Woman.

I have always been madly in love with her voice for years now. But today, I fell in love with the person. Her warmth, her ways, her subtle smiles, her corner-of-the-eye looks. Big thanks to M, for taking me along for the concert today, taking Balaji and me inside the green room. M had already spoken to her about Balaji and me and our "kanden seethayai" request.

She smiles so sweetly and autographed our 'Voices Within' book saying, I will sign next to my name, whenever you meet Krishna, ask him to sign on the other side :) :)

Truely stirring moment when she sang our request for us. I had tears rolling down my eyes while Balaji held my hand with a wide smile :) A dream that we nurtured for 3 years came true today. I am still trembling as I type.

We waited to thank her near the green room. I must have thanked her 5 times, she smiles and says, "anytime" while I thought to myself, "yeah right. 3 years". :)

Loads of people just mobbed her for pics and autographs. I felt bad for her as she was clearly squirrming in front of the cameras :(

Someone gave her a bouquet, and just before leaving, she gives me the flowers and tells Balaji, "continue to be together like this forever". I still cannot wipe that grin off my face.

This is what God does to you. Gives you surprises. Shows you that you are special to him. Tells you there are many reasons to smile. This is what unconditional love feels like.

Just like what I have for my Bombay Jayashri.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Much Changes

Yea, I know. The only thing constant and all that.

But, this is a biggie.

I QUIT MY JOB.

Ok. There, I said it. Worked for 7 long years. Learnt technology, communication, made friends for life, became the (self-proclaimed) darling of a team and became so good that after one interaction, managers and their managers wanted me in their teams. It took a lot of hard work, dedication and sincerity to get there. And now, the excitement of getting things done, watching magic happen are all about to end. In the next one week. And I am happy-sad.

Sad to be leaving it all behind. Happy for the new journey ahead.

For the first time in my life, career-wise, I do not have the answer to the question, "What next". This is as scary as it is liberating. You know?

And, I have news. More on that later. Ta for now.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Lost and trying to be found.

I have been walking and walking and walking. I get tired. I decide to turn back. Suddenly tired and terrified. I had no place to go to that I could call my own. Nobody whom I could call my own either. There was no voice in my head. No song on my lips. No light in my eyes. No warm clothes as I shivered in the wind.

Thats when I saw her. 


She had a similar look on her face. I started looking at her more closely and could almost read her thoughts. Wherever she turned, she found people with malice. Hating her. Waiting for a chance to put her down. Waiting to screw her relationships. Waiting to ruin her happiness. She was just wandering around. Trying to go away to some place where nobody knew her. Where she knew nobody. She wanted to just go away. But she wanted to go home too. She was lost. Confused and very tired with it all. Just as I was.

But those moments passed, and she knew, she was strong. She could come out of this.  Like she had done hundreds of times before.

And seeing her so strong, I drew strength and I knew I would reach home too. Safe and sound.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Day-dream

I have been day dreaming. Again.

Making sand castles, collecting shells, getting just my feet wet in the salty water. Running behind the wave when it is retreating and screaming and running back towards the shore when a big wave chases me. And then, sitting quietly on the sand and watching the waves crash the shore as the sun says goodbye for the day, promising to come back the next day.

Sitting and watching as the moon comes up. Shining its light on the thousands of stars that twinkling their eyes at you. As if saying, "I know what mischief you are upto, you brat", as you grin back wickedly at them.

Just sitting for sometime without any deadlines, without any fear of tomorrow, without any weight on the shoulder. I so badly want that connect with mother nature, letting her wash gently over me and heal me. Enveloping me in an invisible hug. Because, I so badly want one right now.

Suddenly snapped into reality, as my tummy growls for some yummy right now. I will go and continue my day-dream when my oats is bulbing on the stove. Bye for now.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Its Complicatedly Simple

Eh? What? Complicatedly Simple? Is that even a thing?

Yes. It is. Our relationships are complicated and our relationships are simple.

My mother yells at me for something. Its complicated. I soothe her and give her an explanation. Its simple.

I am angry with my husband. He is angry with me. Its complicated. After 5 minutes of fuming, we reach out to each other. Cry if needed. Talk. Vent it out and get done with it. Its simple.

It works the same way with our in-laws.

We all need reassurances. To love, to be loved in return.
To feel secure and to be made to feel secure.

What does it make us? Does it makes us simply complicated?

No. I think, it makes us Human.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Awesomeness!

January 2012 has been such an awesome month. A first of many sorts.

Mangalore half-marathon. Many new dishes cooked @ home. Pani puri, paal payasam, vaazhathandu pacchadi, learnt a new recipe for soup. Need to make it this week and see how it turns out. Hardly ate out. Crossed off important items on the to-do list. Decluttered.

Generally satisfied with myself and the way life is treating us right now.

Hope for a great year ahead and many achievements ahead.

Whattay Month and Whattay Life! 'M Lovin It !

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Huge Mess

I dont know whats this shady feeling I have.

Just feel like I am floating on water.

No idea of where, which direction, what I will hit on the way. Nothing.

Not happy. Not sad. Just numb, perhaps.

I dont know if I want to to be here or I want it to go away and leave me in peace.

Life goes on as usual. With no change. With all my loved ones safe and healthy.

What is it then? I find myself wondering.

Is it the random bits of music that plays on my mind.

Or is it random voices, snippets of forgotten conversation that are cropping up.

Or are the forgotten faces (or the ones that I have been trying to forget) being unearthed.

What is stranger is that, I dont even know if I like it or not.

All in this mess between two pretty ears of mine. So much mess. So much.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

2012 : Week 1

Happy New Year Everyone!

I had a fabulous start to the year.
-Spent a quiet day @ home on 1st.
-Made pani puri @ home for niece and nephew and we had a riot family time!Btw, Every week, I plan to cook something new (with minimal damage to the kitchen and self ofcourse!) . Plan for Week 2 is Minestrone soup. Watch this space for exciting updates ;-)

- Learnt a new Annamacharya Krithi :-)
- Read 2 books back to back and enjoyed them both.
- Met my best friend and family during the first weekend of the year.  Woot.
- Work has been pretty quiet with most of my developers being on leave :=)
- Celebrated ARR's birthday in the best possible way. By listening to his awesome music and raving about it on chat with my friend and cousin. Yay! Fun times!
-Did not eat out even once during this whole week. I am now officially proud of myself and my cooking abilities.
-Did not go shopping or even think about it. (well, okay thought about it 4 times, but did not go shopping. Really.)
-Have a leg injury and not been running. Cycled around instead. Need to get better soon. Wish me Luck!! 
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you this!!!
-Got chased by a dog. Screamed so loudly that the dog got scared and ran away.
-Was sitting quietly on a bench waiting for Balaji, and one lady from the first floor almost threw a bucket of water on me. She actually threw it, the water splashed 2 meters away from me. I swore. Loudly.
-Other than this, dont remember doing any major comedy.

Hope Week2 is as good as this one minus the dogs and buckets of water being thrown on me :-)

Cheers! See you next week if I dont have any brainwave to write about in the interim.

Lowve and all that.