Monday, July 26, 2010

For You...

Have I told you that I love the way you drive?
Have I thanked you lately for having taught me to drive?

Do you know how sweet and vulnerable you look while you sleep?
Do you know I smile when you suddenly put your hand around me while still asleep?

Have I told you that you make the best maggi noodles in the whole wide world?
Have I told you how sweet you look when you scold me for having forgotten my medicines?

Do you know I'd kill to have dimples like yours?
Do you know that I get shivers down my spine when you smile impishly?

Have you noticed my eyes going wide as I look at the pics you click?
Have you noticed that I talk about you more than I talk about myself?

Do you know that I love listening to your one liners and you laughing at them yourself
Do you know its funny when you try to understand meaning of Hindi and Kannada words playing on Radio.

Have I told you how scared I am to stay alone at home?
Have I told you how much light you fill in to my life?

Do you know how much you mean to me?
Do you even know how much I love you? Do you?

PS: Part Real, Part Fiction. You better believe it.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

From Roja...to Raavan

My love for the man has not reduced ONE bit. Really. I sometimes wake up and tunes play in my mind. Always the ones composed by the man himself. My friends (or atleast the ones I used to have a few years ago) used to call me a Rah"maniac". I feel very proud when that word is used on me..I love the sound of that word "Rahmaniac".

I was sleeping when the movie Roja started. Then suddenly, I was blinded by some bright light. I saw the sun come up...and suddenly the starting bit of Chinna chinna aasai woke me up. And I stayed put, paying rapt attention to the screen. I was not seeing the movie. I was actually observing the music that was playing in the background. Completely captivated the (then) little girl.

The man actually conquered my heart that day, and till date he simply rules. I never for a minute doubted his capacity/ ability to move me to tears, to make me smile, to make me want to get up and dance (with my two left feet), to put taalam to his tunes , to nod my head in appreciation, to fill my eyes with dreams and to simply light my heart.

There are two men in my life. One Dad and one husband. Both simply LOVE to say annoying things about my ARR and irritate me. They simply love to see me going red with anger and scrowling at them. While they go on and on and on and see me sulking. Grr @ them. Say all you want, you two. The fact remains that my man bought home TWO Oscars and well....some words are best left unsaid.

But, irrespective of what anyone says, I still love my man. And I will always. I pray that he has a happy, healthy and a very very very long life ahead of him. I am proud that I live in the same era as he does and breathe the same air as he does and walk on the same ground that he does. I do not understand the feeling though. Someone says something nice about him, I feel ten feet tall with pride. Someone is mean and nasty about him, I want to kill him. Whats all this? Some previous birth connection eh? Spooooky I say! My confused feelings apart,

Long Live, God Bless and Truck loads of Love to you,

your very humble, tiny and an insignificant devotee,
vasumathi balaji sridharan

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Six

Not much can happen in 6 years right? Wrong. Very wrong.

Much has happened. I finished post-grad. Got a job. Fell down badly. Bled. Got hurt. Healed. Got Engaged, Got married (to the same guy mind you) and now shuttling between being a working professional and managing home.

I cannot believe I managed to survive for 6 years without you around. The pain is still fresh. It is still like physical pain. I sometimes cannot bear to be alive, when I think of you. It still hurts all over each time I hear a wailing ambulance. I still pretend you are somewhere abroad and I cannot see you or talk to you right now. I hope you are at peace. I hope all is well in your land. I hope you know how much we love you. I hope you are watching over V.

Say Hi to Taatha/Paati and Chitiya from me. Tell them I love them and miss them very much. Tell Chitiya, I did not marry a Gujarati guy after all. He wont be very pleased :-)

Please be around and help me face the world with a brave smile. Please let nobody see the tears behind the bespectacled face. Please give me the courage to behave normally infront of perima and peripa. Nobody can take that place, nobody can smile like you. Nobody has your voice. Nobody kisses my forehead like you. Where do I look for comfort? This is horrible. Please help me get through another 6 years...I cannot bear the thought of a long strech of road ahead without you around...

Please dont ever forget, I love you and will always do. For as long as I live.