Thursday, October 23, 2008

Thinking Aloud..

So, I am asked very frequently, "What is it like being committed?"

Hang on, i dont know anything about love and all that. Its a nice tingling feeling though. Being attached to someone, wanting to be with that someone, talking to someone who makes you smile, who makes you think,who makes you feel important , takes you out, buys you clothes *Colon D* . I have spent some of the best days of my life in the past few months. Spoke on the phone for hours, Laughed, cried, had fun, had arguments (yes.already.), small small meaningless fights, making up, coffee, bhel puri, hand holding, talking sweet nothings...aww..makes me feel happy as i look back at the past few months.

Being committed is like being maried in a way. An event which changes ones life. Mine has certainly changed. I am seeing myself gradually change by the day.I try to think like B, Talk like him, use phrases that he does for example, "I will call you in thurty seconds",smile thinking about him, think 'oh, i should tell him this when i talk to him', see a nice shirt/t-shirt and think , this will look nice on him. But, in a way, doing all this and you are suddenly scared. Inspite of all the sweet things, I stop and think, oh God, am i changing completely? Will i lose my identity one day because of practicing this constantly? I dont know.Really.

It takes a lot of time to build a bond, and match frequencies. Over a period of time i guess people get tuned to each other's frequencies and then life becomes simpler.
You get to learn a lot about yourself because you see yourself through someone else's eyes. By the day, i am realising my flaws. I knew i had them all along. But, having B around re-enforces the fact, that i cant continue having these flaws. I can sight the classic example of my arrogance, swinging from extreme extrovertishness to extreme introvertishness ,adamant nature, my ego , oh, how did i forget my sense of direction! (Ok, am not a mean or a bad girl or something, but jazz like throwing tantrums, not budging from your point, having the last word all the time,showing anger et al) Sooner i correct, better it is. For me. For him. For us.

Heres wishing you good luck and loads of Patience B. Looks like you will need it Son.

PS: I also never knew i could miss a person so much.A select few would understand this.


varadhoo said...

Today I understand .. what the word Commitment means .. Thanks.

varadhoo said...


Archana Achuthan said...

really cute.... :)