Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Mixture of a Mix of Emotions

How can a person be happy and sad at the same time you ask? Huh, get engaged. You will know.When i look at this special person, a smile comes on my face. When i look at my dad sitting next to him, my smile vanishes, my heart instantly becomes so heavy and tears fill up in my eyes..

I almost always thought being *Daddy's Girl* is the best thing in the world. Well Almost.My dad these days,looks at me sometimes with saddest eyes. Eyes that say, "so, you are going? So, you are really going? So, you are not mine alone anymore?, so, i have to share your love with another guy?". Becomes all the more difficult when the daddy's-girl has had no other 'guy' to grow-up with. Dad does comes out and shops enthusiastically, buys sarees, jwellery and all that jazz. But, that underlying emotion is inexplicable.

I wish i could explain and tell my dad, that "Hey! i am still your lil kid.Am not going away forever.I will be right here.You are still the best dad in the world and Sue loves you". But, when i look at those huge eyes, words fail to come.

Maybe someday, he will read this stuff and understand that this is harder for me, than him.

If someone asks me, Hey, how do you feel? I say "mixed emotions". I really , really mean it. The churning in the tummy "cannnnnnot", just cannot be explained in words. Any Verbosity will be purely tautological.

Ta for now. Have a lump in the throat.

A very-mixed-up,
Sue.

7 comments:

Sandhya Biswas said...

Choo. Yet to come across someone who can express better even during a period of mixed feelings. :)

Vasumathi Sridharan said...

aww...dankoo honey!!! My PK is the best!! >:D<

Archana Achuthan said...

Congrats on gtng engaged vasu!! Sooper Post!!

Vasumathi Sridharan said...

Thanks Archana!!

Gowri Rao said...

that is called sweet and sorrow my dear. give yourself and your dad sometime. time will tell everything he and you need to know. he knows you love him, however, he will take time to share that love, so will you. all the best gal...

Vasumathi Sridharan said...

Dankoo gal..looks like i needed that reassurance. :D

Talk to you soon!Take Care!

Madhumathi said...

i can really understand this..even aft 1yr8mnts of marriage..both my dad & me feel the lump... I think this will be there forever... Why does it always have to be give & take :(