Thursday, July 31, 2008

Why Me?

All of us ask this question at some point in time. At every transformation, at every situation that puts us off, we ask "Why me?"

I am amazed at my own thought process sometimes.

I tend to think so clearly and look at a bigger picture so clearly in my mind. Analyse from everybody's point of view. Try to be empethetic.But, the catch is, i do that only when people come to me with issues and seek help. I wil feel for them from my heart, but i will think for them very clearly from my mind.

When it comes to myself, i think from my heart. I just dont listen to what the mind says. This causes chaos, since there will be way too much of tug of war within me. The mind speaks loudly, the heart speaks louder.This inturn causes so much confusion between me , myself and the outside world.Maybe this is my nature.But..i still ask "why me?"

This might sound stupid to the seasoned mind like yours(?) , but this is exactly what happens inside me. Where else do i rant but to you, my dear blog!It is now i suppose your turn to ask "Why me?", as you silently tolerate my endless blabber.

Ok,its time now, to get that yummy chocolate thats in the refrigirator.


Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Too many Voices

Voices From Within gave "Voices Within", to person who is causing Voices from Within.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Mixture of a Mix of Emotions

How can a person be happy and sad at the same time you ask? Huh, get engaged. You will know.When i look at this special person, a smile comes on my face. When i look at my dad sitting next to him, my smile vanishes, my heart instantly becomes so heavy and tears fill up in my eyes..

I almost always thought being *Daddy's Girl* is the best thing in the world. Well Almost.My dad these days,looks at me sometimes with saddest eyes. Eyes that say, "so, you are going? So, you are really going? So, you are not mine alone anymore?, so, i have to share your love with another guy?". Becomes all the more difficult when the daddy's-girl has had no other 'guy' to grow-up with. Dad does comes out and shops enthusiastically, buys sarees, jwellery and all that jazz. But, that underlying emotion is inexplicable.

I wish i could explain and tell my dad, that "Hey! i am still your lil kid.Am not going away forever.I will be right here.You are still the best dad in the world and Sue loves you". But, when i look at those huge eyes, words fail to come.

Maybe someday, he will read this stuff and understand that this is harder for me, than him.

If someone asks me, Hey, how do you feel? I say "mixed emotions". I really , really mean it. The churning in the tummy "cannnnnnot", just cannot be explained in words. Any Verbosity will be purely tautological.

Ta for now. Have a lump in the throat.

A very-mixed-up,

Latest from me.

Ages since i wrote something here.No,Am *not* going to fill this post up with excuses for not writing more often. I have been writing stuff, but unfortunately, content is not for a blog. Its just for a special-someone. Who,You ask? Well, a special someone, am getting wedded to.

So, thats news from me. Am getting married. While this statement sounds foreign to my own ears, Scares me no end, it also brings about a little smile, some hope about a future with someone. Am riding a wave that is full of mixed emotions.

Its been my dream to get married at a Kshetram. So, i am going to see a dream of mine, turn into reality.So, the chosen place is none other than Srirangam.That temple has 'always' been soo close to my heart. There is so much history and so much character in that place that, it always moves me to tears. The very thought that "I am walking on the sand that Swami Ramanuja and Swami Desikan walked on" itself is so overwhelming and gets me goosed.

Yes, You are permitted to ask me for details now :D

More later.