Sunday, November 30, 2008

As the D-day approaches.

Ok. This is it. The countdown is almost over. My heart beats faster. (I am almost afraid someone next to me can hear it go thump thump thump). All checklists done. Shopping over. All invites sent out. Blouses stitched (finally). Time to now sit back and watch the event happen. (I hope i remember all the relatives names and dont mix up when i introduce my people to my in-laws.)

Everytime someone blesses me i get emotional and tears just well up. Darn. I *hate* crying. Such a sign of display of weakness.Daddy has strictly prohibbited me from crying.Can someone remind me to wear tear-proof mascara please?

This will be my last post as "Miss.Vasu". Am off to put mehendi on my hands and will not be online. If you are reading this, you have *no* clue of all the emotions running through me now.

Looking forward to have a great wedding, enjoy, put on make-up (ok, not my area of interest, but..what the heck, you get married once only no?), wear pretty sarees, say cheese for pics :) (i have realised its Ok to smile at the camera...the pics are such a joy to look at later on..NOTE-to-self: DO NOT stare at the camera. SMILE. Please.), meet cousins,buddies, eat good food and most of all Sing "Rangapura vihArA" at Srirangam temple! What more can anyone ask for?

Will be back with the wedding experience and a travelogue on Rajasthan as soon as i get back!

Till then, say your daily prayers, be kind and polite, eat healthy and make someone Smile :)

I hope i just did :)

>:D< Tada for now!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thalimangalam

Can't believe, can't believe
That she's grown
Lost during fathers recruit
And found in Orkut

This blogger is mind boggling
Blogs and poems
Thoughts are lot
Fashioning in her head

This head was once plated into two
Culminating into red raveled nylon ribbons
This bubbly girl with laughs louder
Than the grunting 3no bus

Is all set
To get
Tallimangalfied!


Can't believe, can't believe
That she's grown.

Ok. That was a poem that Mr.Cyril Abraham (my partner in crime since my 2nd standard) wrote for me.Cyril, Many thanks. That was a sweeeeet Wedding gift :-)
Will miss you. Be there in spirit and pray for us :-) Blessed to have you as a part of my life. You rock buddy :)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

An Echo..A Memory.

Look back and think of those moments spent,
Wearing a frock, playing in mud, Bringing a stray dog home,
Feeding him and giving my rug to him.
To keep him warm from cold winds and rain.

Learning songs from great-grandmother,
Grandfather sitting at the swing,
And me sleeping on his lap,
Refusing to eat dinner, till i have seen my 2 goat-friends.

Making phone calls to daddy's office asking him to come early,
Applying kumkum on dad's forehead, When he goes on tour,
Begging him to buy gems on his way back from tours.
Ask him to bend low, so that i could kiss him goodbye.

Watching mom play veena and sing,
Cry as she twisted my ear and made me do math,
Giggled as she lifted me into the cane chair,
Frantically searching for her as the swing swung by fast.

Watching my sister sleep and calm her when she cried,
Growing up together and sharing Dairy Milk chocolates.
With pride clapped as she topped her classes,
Wearing frocks and skirts of the same colour and material.

Dressing up for dandiya and waiting for those 9 days,
Dancing and singing all through the night,
Eating ice-creams and drinking Gold-spot with friends at 3AM,
Some days, were they.

Waiting for summer vacations,To meet cousins and climb trees with them.
Play a game of hide-n-seek,Hide under a bed and fall asleep.
With folks at hiome frantically launch a search party,
Wake up because of all the noise and ask, "Who is lost?"

Life then, filled with laughter, tears,
innocence and spontaneity,
All that is gone and a memory remains,Etched in the soul,
For me to think back and cherish them as i smile.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

My Days...These days.

-Make a List
-Tick items bought
-Cross items to be bought.
-Remind tailor to return the blouse.
-Shop
-Pack stuff bought
-Check checklist again (just incase you have forgotten something important like your body spray or toothbrush)
-Feel terrible about being too busy at work to even notice all the hard work folks at home are doing to make things a success.
-Cry at the slightest mention of leaving home :|
-Clean.
-Learn to cook :|
-Ensure all the matching bangles and accessories go into the suitcase.
-Call up buddies and Invite and have conversations like :

Me: Hey there..me getting married. Dec 4th. Srirangam. Yahooooo!
Him: Wow, you sound happy happy re!
Me: Who me? Happy? No.I am getting married just to wear all those lovely lovely saris daddy has bought me. Colon D.

-Breathe deeply and count backwards from 100 to stay calm, while every nerve within is screaming.

See you there on 4th of December 2008, and Thanks for all the support, love and wishes :-)

It is Dum Dum Dum time.

10 Days to go!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Straight from my heart

Chitthi na koi sandes, jaane woh konsa des, jahaan tum chale gaye.

A simple song with simple lyrics, had my eyes wet with tears.

Its my wedding. And my elder sister wont be there.She had promised to be there though. During one of those little games we used to play as kids, she said,"Vasu, unnoda kalyanathukku naan pink podavai kattippen". (I will wear a pink saree at your wedding)

Such a helpless feeling it is, to have lost someone and never being able to see them again. Never get a chance to hug them and tell them , that "Hey, i love you.You are very very precious to me.". Baby, my wedding will never be complete without you. I will wear a pink saree for you to see.

Do come and do keep your promise. I know you will. I will miss you in every moment. In every song and in every smile. Stay at peace wherever you are. I Love you yaar. Wish i could hug you and rest my head on your shoulder. For me to smell that lovely perfume of yours. For you to reassure me that everything will be fine.For you to say , "Onnum illa yaaar, nee venum naa paaren.." .I wish i could get those little tips and advices that you would have given, if you were around. I wish i could have spoken to you and confided everything about my relationship to you.Told you what a great guy i am getting married to and i wish i could have seen that peaceful smile on your face.

Your voice sometimes rings in my ears and makes me look around to see if you are by chance around calling me.

This post is dedicated you Utthra. The only one i confided in all my childhood secrets and confessed every prank of mine to. All those secrets are safe now. You took them all with you.Noone will ever be what you are to me. I end this post here. My eyes are terribly blurred.

This is to you!

My best friend.My Akka.My Utths.

PS: For a long time i kept this saved as a draft. And did not want to publish this. But posting it anyway, for reasons unknown to the writer herself.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

This and That

Are you really going?
Ask your dad and sis,
Throat gets choked, Words fail to come and tears drop,
And then you know, that its time...
to set off.

Set off to a new world,
A new home,new people,New smells.
Heart thumps wildly, sleep evades at times,
But, find solace, knowing am going to be safe...
In someone's heart.

In someone's heart will i live,
And make place for someone in mine,
Enjoying simplest joys of life,
And living each moment to its fullest.

Monday, November 3, 2008

mAmava paTTAbhirAma



I doubt if any sAhityaM can be this beautiful. This one describes rAmar Pattabhishekam.Got goosed and broke down listening to this one and gave up on life. Look at the rAga mudra,"dasharathaputra mAniraHNgavalyAlaHNkRta navaratna manTape " , the composer mudra "sItayAsaha samsthita sucaritra paramapa vitra guruguha mitra " and the end..cha..,"mEdinI pAlA rAmachandrA".. I promptly give up and do a >----<-o @ Dikshitar.The man, the master composer,the GOD.I stop my rant here. Take a listen and feel free to feed your soul.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Colon D Moment

Rangarajan Anna :Eppdi irukkar Balaji?
Me : Sowkyama Irukkar
Me:Paavam enda janmathula paavam pannaro enkitte maatindudaar.
Rangarajan Anna : Ida avar kitte solladha..bhayanduda poraar
Me: Cha cha..avar singam maadiri strong. Bhayam na enna ne teriyaadhu
Me:Oru velai..Lion Dates saptu appdi singam maadiri irukkaro ennamo
Rangarajan Anna : Lion ippo fiance oda Dating-a?

ME: ROFL :-))

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Siri Siri (Laugh Laugh)

A : Enna , Kalyna shopping/sarees laam all done?
Me: Mostly yes. Koora podavai vaanganum (yet to buy the 9-yards)
A: Kalyana chatrathula roof-la ootai irukka ?
Me : (completely confused) Yaen?
A : Illa..Koora podava vaanganum nu sonnele..
Me: :-|
After-a-long-while-and-a-few-blinks-later-Me : :-))

(Appologies to the non-tamil readers. I am not talented enough to transliterate this)

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Thinking Aloud..

So, I am asked very frequently, "What is it like being committed?"

Hang on, i dont know anything about love and all that. Its a nice tingling feeling though. Being attached to someone, wanting to be with that someone, talking to someone who makes you smile, who makes you think,who makes you feel important , takes you out, buys you clothes *Colon D* . I have spent some of the best days of my life in the past few months. Spoke on the phone for hours, Laughed, cried, had fun, had arguments (yes.already.), small small meaningless fights, making up, coffee, bhel puri, hand holding, talking sweet nothings...aww..makes me feel happy as i look back at the past few months.

Being committed is like being maried in a way. An event which changes ones life. Mine has certainly changed. I am seeing myself gradually change by the day.I try to think like B, Talk like him, use phrases that he does for example, "I will call you in thurty seconds",smile thinking about him, think 'oh, i should tell him this when i talk to him', see a nice shirt/t-shirt and think , this will look nice on him. But, in a way, doing all this and you are suddenly scared. Inspite of all the sweet things, I stop and think, oh God, am i changing completely? Will i lose my identity one day because of practicing this constantly? I dont know.Really.

It takes a lot of time to build a bond, and match frequencies. Over a period of time i guess people get tuned to each other's frequencies and then life becomes simpler.
You get to learn a lot about yourself because you see yourself through someone else's eyes. By the day, i am realising my flaws. I knew i had them all along. But, having B around re-enforces the fact, that i cant continue having these flaws. I can sight the classic example of my arrogance, swinging from extreme extrovertishness to extreme introvertishness ,adamant nature, my ego , oh, how did i forget my sense of direction! (Ok, am not a mean or a bad girl or something, but jazz like throwing tantrums, not budging from your point, having the last word all the time,showing anger et al) Sooner i correct, better it is. For me. For him. For us.

Heres wishing you good luck and loads of Patience B. Looks like you will need it Son.

PS: I also never knew i could miss a person so much.A select few would understand this.

And...I live to tell the tale

Another Rain.

Another adventure.

Just this time, i am not going to write about it.

Thanks for *not* asking what happened.

Btw, Happy Birthday Manasi and Charu. I love you both and *sniff*, cant live without you gals.Muaaah. >:D< Have a fantastic year(s) ahead.

Yours Always,
Me-the-Vee.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Shashti Poorthi

We dont celebrate 50 as grandly as we do the 60th.

Shashtiaapthapoorthi (Completion of 60) marks a new beginning in a person's life.

Heres to you my dear 60th Post.


PS:I actually forgot to celebrate 50, so i am covering it up by using hi-funda words and all :D

Friday, September 26, 2008

Confessions of a little girl, who has grown-up to be a woman.

Its 2.30AM..i toss and turn and suddenly unable to sleep any longer, i just get up and sit. My thoughts drift to him.

YES. Am guilty. Terribly guilty. And i am going to confess..Here.

I have hurt someone. There, i said it. I should not have done this to him.

"I am getting married", i said softly. Almost to myself. He became quiet. Just so very quiet. Suddenly, that silence spoke way too loud..I never understood him.. He has been with me for so long now. People always saw us together. Some even went to the extent of saying we look so cute together and so very alike (both by nature and looks!)!! He picked me up everytime i fell down. Listening as i raved and ranted. Correcting me when i was wrong.Showing me the right way of doing things. Our tastes so alike. In food, music and general outlook towards life. Smiling proudly as i did something worthy. Clapped the loudest each time i sang or got an award. Always been there for me.Silently. The best friend. Always the hero. Always my saviour.


And i left him for another guy. The realization hit me ..and hit me hard. Pained me endlessly. It moved me to tears. So much that i was sobbing in the middle of the night. But then, theres nothing i can do. I have to go. Set off on a new journey. He has to move on. And i know he will. For my sake. I also know he will wish me very well,because thats what he has wanted all along.He just wanted to see me happy and smiling. And i am sure he will. My special-one will ensure that.

This is to tell him, that i love him too. As much as he loves me. Not in that way, but i still do.Cheers! I am your little girl and I will always be your little girl.






Who He is, is anyone's guess.This is to you Daddy. >:D<

Sue loves You. With all her heart.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Another One!

This is one terrific tag! Answers in one word only! I tag..You!

1. Your cell phone? Essential
2. Your significant other? BalajiN
3. Your hair? Falling :-(
4. Your mummy? Divine
5. Your daddy? Strongest
6. Your favorite thing? Bean-bag :D
7. Your dream last night? Scray
8. The room you're in? Drawing-Room
9. Your fear? Being-unloved
10. What you're not? Sane
11. The last thing you did before logging on? Slept
12. Where did you grow up? Bangalore
13. Favourite drink? Tender-Coconut
14. What are you wearing? Perfume
15. Your TV? Switched-off.
16. Your pet? Charu
17. Your computer? Dusty
18. Favourite place? Salagramam
19. Your mood right now? Hyper-Happy
20. Missing someone? you-bet!
21. Something you're not wearing? Gloves
22. Love someone? Yes!!!!!
23. Your favorite color? Pink
24. Kids? Other's
25. Your life? Effervescent

Randomness-thats-not-following-any-pattern

As you can see, i am rottenly bored. Am at home and sick of it. Just spent 2 hours searching for a new template and set font-colors to match it.

Someone take me out no, Please! I desperately want to go out and eat bhel puri , golgappe and chocolate ice-cream and all things nice. Please take me out. I am asking with my sweetest smile...EVER. Ok, no bhel, atleast an ice-cream?? I am allowed an ice-cream for Christ's sake!! I really am!

Getting all random_max thoughts staying at home. Doing absolutely cranky mad things. A song is in repeat mode for the last 3 days. Dance to it at 1AM. Read till 2AM. Get nightmares and wake up suddenly.Blog hopping like crazy. Have a wild desire scream loudly. Feeling completely void. Strange restlessness. There is this loud silence.

Have a bitter taste in my mouth. Completely developed aversion for food. The sight of it sickenns me. Sulk and throw tantrums everytime ma gets a plate of bland food.

Just the craving for ice-cream remains.

Only look forward to drink Live52.

Gaze at my mobile phone and will it to ring. It never rings these days .Even if it does, 'none' of the conversations last longer than 3mins and 20 seconds. So, call me and talk to me no? For longer than 3 mins and 20seconds.Thanks and i love you.

Refresh my Gmail some 100times hoping to have recieved a nice mushy e-mail. The screen looks at me and says "Nice Try..but better luck next time" :-(_max

Yes, i am in a great mood and my life is totally rocking at the moment. I am celebrating. All good things are happening.

Bhooo....i want to hide under the bed and feel like a 5 year old again...



PS: I wont blame you, if you think i have lost it.I swear.God-Promise. *holding-my-throat*

Here I Come

I am the latest Kitty Kat in town.

Meeeyaaawww!!

:)

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Drama from 2 Thru 5

Out of sheer boredom and frustration, and lack of having anything useful to do, i am doing a self tag on childhood memories between the age of 2 to 5.

#1. I was 2 years old i think. I remember my mom playing the veena and me singing and dad recording the session.I was wearing a green umbrella cut frock with white flowers.Ma was wearing a maroon saree.

#2. I remember dad teaching me to play badminton when i was probably 5.Have a vivid memory of it.

#3. I remember ma and pa took me to Kanyakumari. I remember watching the sunset, and for some reason i was crying. Mummy took me to a prayer hall. The silence there killed me. I had a strong desire to scream. And scream i did.Louuuuudly. An elderly spectacled gentleman turned and said "shhhh..quiet child". Mummy dragged me away from there. I turned back, glared at him and stuck my tongue out at him. :P

#4.Remember being falling ill.The doctor arranging for drips to be given at home. Remember my maternal granpa coming to see me, and touching the drip and asking "enna idhu? why did the child fall ill?" with a terribly worried look.

#5. I remember my great-grandmother sitting on a bench and i was running about and playing. She called me and taught me "Vara veena mrudu paaNi" geetham in mOhana raagam. For some reason , this rAgam remains an eternal favourite. Instantly makes me happy!

#6. I remember my first day of school very vividly. Every detail.

#7. I remember a Ganesh Chaturthi. My grandmom had made a nice mantap and bought 2 small umbrellas for ganesha.I wanted one for my doll-house. They refused to give it to me.I threw a fit. Finally my granddad gave it to me and wiped my tears.

#8. I remember my granddad sitting in the swing and chewing betel leaves and me sleeping on his lap. Most of my afternoons would be spent this way. Somehow a swing is such an integral part of my memories. Was thilled to bits when dad bought a swing for our house. I still spend so much time on it. Swinging to glory and practicing music or just well..swinging.

#9.Remember seeing charu for the first time in the hospital. So tiny , pink and chubby. then saw my dad and mom playing with her and petting her. Felt an inexplicable pang.I never liked her much when she was a baby. But ya, the only reason i used to go to hospital to see her, was that tatha had kept a box of chocolates in the draw and i was allowed 1 per day :-)

#10. Remember chasing away my music teacher who used to come home to teach me. Used to hide under the bed when she used to come. Finally amma appa gave up and told her i wont be learnign anymore from her. Never liked her much.

#11. Remember playing hide-and-seek with cousins. Hid myself in my grandpa's cupboard and fell asleep. My cousins could not find me. The household was completely panicky. They thought i had got lost or even worse kidnapped! My granddad found me when he came to look for a change of his dhothi!

#12. I would eat everyday only if i saw a goat.My granddad would carry me and go in search of one. Then arranged for a guy to bring 2 goats daily to our place just to have a more peaceful dinner time without my tantrums.

#13. I remember my cousin making me sing "Vande Mataram" in the hall filled with all of mom's side people. My grandma remarked to my mom. 'All the kids study well. Dont pressurize her to study.Make her sing instead.'

#14. Every sunday daddy used to buy a ring for me. And after 2 days i used to misplace it.

#15. My maternal grandma used to make the world's best onion-raita. I used to wake her up at 11pm and ask her to make upma and onion-raita for me.

Thse are some that i vividly remember. Infact i remember loads of stuff. Will pen down as and when i have energy to type. Off now.

Peace to you All,
V.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Sigh..

5 Times since morning, I have clicked the 'New Post' link, and closed it.

Words do not cometh. Sleep not cometh either.

Words are over.

Am done.

/*Yay! This is a post.*/
Time to hit the 'Publish Post' button. Colon Pipe.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

I Like

I like rain,rainbow,chocolates,chat,
I like window shopping,popcorn and masti.
I like buying gifts and surprising people,
I like taking pics and capturing moments in my little camera.

I like movies and music,
I like reading philosophy,
I like engineers and thinkers,
I like to give gyaan and feel important.

I like being amidst people,
I like dancing (even though i cant dance to save my life)
I like the smell of wet sand and freshly brewed coffee,
I like little children and flowers.

I like writing,dreaming,star-gazing.
I like singing (because i can)
I like smiling and seeing people smile.
I like myself.

So much for being humble. :D

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Jaundice and me...

I dread the question "How are you?". I dont know how to answer it.

1 Week. In and out of hospitals and that leaves me scared more of nurses than doctors. All they did was poke practice. 15 pokes and 1 constant poke point for the drip, left me paranoid everytime the room door opened.

Food without salt,sugar,oil and other essentials tastes pretty neat. :-|

Live52 is yummy. Really. Atleast it has some taste.

The only reason i am celebrating. Lost 3kgs , muft mein. Intend to loose 5 more.

:D

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Story of a Boatman and a River.

Tall green tress on both sides forming a canopy,
The river was deep,still and quiet
In the stilness of a moment,Came a boatman,
Rowing genlty,in a boat full of flowers,
With fragrance wafting in the air and colors that can take a breath away.

He thought,there was something different about the river today,
He cruised along,wondering about the river,
she would normally be swifter, he thought,
Making music by splashing on the rocks as she ran along gracefully,
Why is she so still today, he asked himself.

A hundred questions formed his mind,
Did i hurt her with my oars?
Is she unhappy about something?
Is it the calm before the storm?
She was her normal self yesterday, whats with her today?

The River, seeing her favourite boatman in doubt,
Tries in her own silent way to answer him,
that she was just too tired of all the running.
To tell him that all is well with her,
And that she is content and very happy today, than ever before.

Moment of the Day

Me-to-Security-Guard : Bhaiya, First Aid Hai?
Sleepy-Security-Guard : Nahi madam, Yeh Third Floor Hai.

Me :-|

After a few hours ROFL.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Cha

Damned nightmares.

:|

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Life..Now.

Theres So much to do,
Theres so little time.

What to do,Where to go,
Whom to meet, who all to talk to.

It used to be so calm before.
It probably was the calm before the storm.

Sometimes i think i am leading a maddening life,
Sometimes it is hard,to be on the run ALL the time.

But then,Someone said, No pain, No gain,
That someone is right.I suppose.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

My not-so-secret Affair With..Fitness

I find myself eating a wee bit more these days.Not that it matters to you or to the rest of the world.

Question:Reason?
Answer:Fitness.

You : Huh...What?
Me:(same reaction)

My Regime:
-Wake up at 4.45AM (Whattay un-godly hour i say..)
-Glass of Complan :O
-Reach office.
-Breakfast 3 Chappatis that mom-darling packs.(She wakes up at 4.30 and cooks for me :((I hate it to bother her,but she is 'just' sure that i am incapable of looking after my own health)
-Glass of Milk.
-Lunch 3 more chappatis that mom-darling only has packed.
-Back home from work.
-Cup of Boiled Corn/Sprouts or An Apple (to keep the doctor away?).
-Cup of Rasam Rice with some vegetable.
-9.30PM Pack.

What the heck?

I 'cant' possibly be eating all that stuff!!!!!!

Where is the exercise bit you ask? Well i come back home from office and go for a quick walk/jog/run depending on how slippery the roads are because of the rains.

At this rate, i need to join a gym to burn more calories.

Ya, i know, i really do know... that you think i am abso-freaking-lutely beautiful the way i am *one-flying-kiss-from-me-to-you-for-that*, But i really really need to improve my fitness level. Its down there. At Rock bottom.



122 Days to Go. Colon D.

Vasu Vs Vodafone

I share a love/hate relationship with Vodafone.

I ask them to activate Family and friends Free calls option and they dont do it even after 48 hours.

I pay them 300 bucks for a connection, they dont give me a receipt.They make me run all over the place.

I ask them to activate roaming on someone's phone, since that someone was away and was not able to make calls. They do it in like 30mins.

Huh,What do you do with these folks?

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Why Me?

All of us ask this question at some point in time. At every transformation, at every situation that puts us off, we ask "Why me?"

I am amazed at my own thought process sometimes.

I tend to think so clearly and look at a bigger picture so clearly in my mind. Analyse from everybody's point of view. Try to be empethetic.But, the catch is, i do that only when people come to me with issues and seek help. I wil feel for them from my heart, but i will think for them very clearly from my mind.

When it comes to myself, i think from my heart. I just dont listen to what the mind says. This causes chaos, since there will be way too much of tug of war within me. The mind speaks loudly, the heart speaks louder.This inturn causes so much confusion between me , myself and the outside world.Maybe this is my nature.But..i still ask "why me?"

This might sound stupid to the seasoned mind like yours(?) , but this is exactly what happens inside me. Where else do i rant but to you, my dear blog!It is now i suppose your turn to ask "Why me?", as you silently tolerate my endless blabber.

Ok,its time now, to get that yummy chocolate thats in the refrigirator.

:D

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Too many Voices

Voices From Within gave "Voices Within", to person who is causing Voices from Within.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Mixture of a Mix of Emotions

How can a person be happy and sad at the same time you ask? Huh, get engaged. You will know.When i look at this special person, a smile comes on my face. When i look at my dad sitting next to him, my smile vanishes, my heart instantly becomes so heavy and tears fill up in my eyes..

I almost always thought being *Daddy's Girl* is the best thing in the world. Well Almost.My dad these days,looks at me sometimes with saddest eyes. Eyes that say, "so, you are going? So, you are really going? So, you are not mine alone anymore?, so, i have to share your love with another guy?". Becomes all the more difficult when the daddy's-girl has had no other 'guy' to grow-up with. Dad does comes out and shops enthusiastically, buys sarees, jwellery and all that jazz. But, that underlying emotion is inexplicable.

I wish i could explain and tell my dad, that "Hey! i am still your lil kid.Am not going away forever.I will be right here.You are still the best dad in the world and Sue loves you". But, when i look at those huge eyes, words fail to come.

Maybe someday, he will read this stuff and understand that this is harder for me, than him.

If someone asks me, Hey, how do you feel? I say "mixed emotions". I really , really mean it. The churning in the tummy "cannnnnnot", just cannot be explained in words. Any Verbosity will be purely tautological.

Ta for now. Have a lump in the throat.

A very-mixed-up,
Sue.

Latest from me.

Ages since i wrote something here.No,Am *not* going to fill this post up with excuses for not writing more often. I have been writing stuff, but unfortunately, content is not for a blog. Its just for a special-someone. Who,You ask? Well, a special someone, am getting wedded to.

So, thats news from me. Am getting married. While this statement sounds foreign to my own ears, Scares me no end, it also brings about a little smile, some hope about a future with someone. Am riding a wave that is full of mixed emotions.

Its been my dream to get married at a Kshetram. So, i am going to see a dream of mine, turn into reality.So, the chosen place is none other than Srirangam.That temple has 'always' been soo close to my heart. There is so much history and so much character in that place that, it always moves me to tears. The very thought that "I am walking on the sand that Swami Ramanuja and Swami Desikan walked on" itself is so overwhelming and gets me goosed.

Yes, You are permitted to ask me for details now :D

More later.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

And then..It Rained..

So, this is what happened Today. Was just leaving office. Tied my bandana, wore my helmet, kick started my Scooty and left office, Thinking its going to be a pleasant ride back home. Nice and (mildly) cloudy sky. as usual humming a tune, and trying to avoid every pot-hole in order to have a smooth drive, I drove.

Covered more than half the distance very peacefully. And then it drizziled. And then rained. Took shelter first under a bridge with a few other fellow riders.Mostly "Fellows". This guy stares at my ID card , sees the HP laptop. I notice his Dell Laptop. He gives me a weary look and says.."so, you working with HP?" I stared with a (What-the -heck) kinda dirty look in response. He keeps quiet.

Rain subsides. I start again. Further up, after 2 kms, pours again. I despreately look for a tree , a bulding, a anything for shelter. Dont find anything..No use. Drenched to the skin anyway!! So, The traffic signal turns Red. I stand with other fellow-drivers and riders and willing the god-forsaken signal to turn Green again. Shivvvvering starts, wizer is totally wet. Glasses totally wet. Giveaap.

No point stopping under a tree also. So drive along. then driving becomes impossible. Rain drops start hitting the eye. The Rain belts down harder. Givaap again.Eyes fall on the Hero Honda showroom. Stop the vehicle, and run to the showroom. Call up Amma. Amma yells. "NO driving from tomorrow." Me: "Please switch on heater". Then rain subsides again. So Me, the heroine of this story, leaves the showroom and starts off again. 3 More kms to go before i reach home."God..pls dont rain anymore..just let me reach home, without skidding or killing anyone on the roads" Gods are kind. They do hear me. Well ...Partly wonly..After 2 kms, Gods start the rain again. This time, shelter is Shivaginagar Police Station. Hefty policemen, 6 feet 5 inches tall and some 124 kgs each :-(

Again, i was the only lady there amongst 23 others who had taken shelter.
One Policeman comes and asks "Madam , would you like to sit down? Would you like to have some coffee??" ,
Me: No thanks.
Him : "If you can tell us your adress, we can drop you home in the jeep. "
Me: "No thanks..i have my vehicle..i will be fine." .
Him (saw my lapi and): "Software ?? Which company? " .
Me: "Why?" (eaised eyebrows)
Him : "Nothing..Just like that"
Him again : "Would you like to call someone? "
Me: "Yea sure...i need to call my boyfriend" (To myself.."what-the-Hell". )

Rain subsides again after 30 odd mins. Leave the station for home. Reach home. Have a hot bath, hot coffee and am mailing this now.

Basic need of the hour : Wipers for the Helment wizers and Oh yea..Wipers for Specs too. My birthday is coming up..can one of you gift me a car please??? Kidding. Never mind.

You : (to yourself.) "Iva mazhai la nananjaalum nanaja..namma uyira yen vaangara???"
Me: Simple. Its My birth right.

Chill. I know you want to throw something at me right now.

I drove safe. Really. Promise. And am gonna stay away from the bike till such time, this Rainy (?) season goes away :D

Peace.

And ya, please stay from rain..will you ?? Looks like you have had enough of me for today. I hear you. I *am* going. Really.

Love and smiles, (no rains please!!)
Vasu.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

?!?

Been a while since i blogged. My appologies to the regular readers(are there any?).Anyway, reasons being the same work and more work(ok.am just saving some grace left.Dont smirk ok?)

The world and the people in it really baffle me. Baffle me to such an extent that i sometimes find myself either worrying for them, else being angry with them alternatively.A lady holds the hand of her 5 yr old daughter and crosses the street without looking at either direction.An auto driver overtakes me from right and without an indicator turns left. A biker races out of nowhere from my left,almost kills me and turns right. Traffic scene is a chaos all in capital letters.Been driving 35kms on a daily basis and i know how aweful it is.My brows are knit through out my drive.Well.Almost.

Back home, switch on the TV and flip the NDTV by chance.Only depressing stuff.Have Almost stopped watching/reading the news. I only get to hear stuff that sickens me in my stomach.Harldly anything positive gets publised or talked about(Is there any positivity left?).

Before you judge me and say i am being emotional and talking from my heart and not my head, let me tell you, that you will agree with every word here. I am sure.I find myself stressed and very very worried about the future.Mine and yours. My kid's and yours.

I seriously wonder, how and in what way, should i/we contribute to make the world a better place. Thoughts welcome.

A very worried,sad and tired Me signing off.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

When Cupid strikes...

He always loved watching the scenery speeding past.As any 28 year old normally would, Alok Sharma a banker by profession,loved a train travel.As he sat and thought through his life, he got back glimspes of his school days, getting scolded by teachers, admiring his english teacher's stlye adn poise,his college canteen, those theater days and doing the wheeles to impress the girls on the street. Recollecting his college days always bought a smile to his face. The boyish charm he oozed never went unnoticed by people who met him.His thoughts were interrupted by a pat on the shoulder."Son, will you read out the number on the ticket?", asked a soft voice next to him."Sure aunty, its 30.Upper berth".He instantly understood, that she will not be able to climb up, and offered to exchange his lower berth with her.

Just as he was about to climb up, was when he saw her.She looked up at the same instant.The spark was fast.Faster than the spark itself.His world suddenly stopped around him.Never had he been so attracted to a person at first sight.He so dearly wished to talk to her.But, he wondered how she would react.So pretty and sweet she looked, in the pink outfit that she wore.He thought how lovely her dark brown eyes were. The innocence in her, touched him very deeply.She stopped what she was doing and kept staring at him.Suddenly shy, her head bent low, as if searching for something for something on the floor. He took two steps ahead and she suddenly got up, and started walking away.He followed her.

She went till the door and was about to open the door of the compartment, he held her hand and pulled her back.He realised, he was holding her so tightly , that he was hurting her. Then let go.Smiled at her ,extended his hand , and said,"Hi, am Alok, whats your name?" , "Am Sunaina, and i study in 5th Standard , C Section.", said she.

Monday, March 24, 2008

And..he lives on..

Bright light went out suddenly on the 20th March 2008, leaving the family shattered,in shock and grooping in the dark. A person who changed so many lives, a person who made so many people what they are today.A vaccum is created now in the family in which this great soul was a pillar of support. How old was he? "85" I said. "Oh, ya..thats old." , said they. There is never an 'age' to die i think. It rained and poured cats and more cats the day he was taken away to the cemetry. He had loads of skin problems and allergy. "My feet are on fire..they are burning", he used to say. Even the gods wept as he was being taken away. The weather became chilly and cold and we were all soaked to the skin, while he lay there, peacefully unaware of how soaked he was, by the rain and by our tears. The gods probably tried to cool his feet too.A person who never had a peaceful night's sleep because of all the stress he was under, slept that night, as all the rest stayed awake keeping vigil over him. Time to time, looking at the ice box to check if he is by chance breathing?

There is so much difference in the way people react to death. Women ask "Did he eat?, what did he eat? " "Why have u kept him in this box? i cant even touch him". Men discuss numbers and time. "When did he eat? What time did it happen? Have you got this confirmed by the doctor? ".The only similarity between the men and women is that the tears dont stop.

Truly a remarkable man was he, my maternal grandfather. Someone who commanded respect, love and admiration from all who knew him. The spirit truly lives on. We, his chidren and grandchildren , hope to continue his legacy and try to be good human beings and help our society as much as we can, just like he did. We also pray that the family does not wither away and we continues to be just that. A family . I dearly wish i had told you more often how much you mean to us, and how much we all love you.Tatha, you will always remain in a very special place in our hearts. May your blessings and love be on all of us forever. Rest in peace.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Waves

A Trip to Pondichery for Hari's engagement over the weekend of March 8,9th and I come back refreshed. Mind and Soul. Mind, because i did a lot of thinking.Soul because of a flying visit to TiruvEndipuram.

We made a trip to the beach called Paradise Beach. There is a resort called Chunamba Resort. A small boat ride in the backwaters and then you hit the land then ...Beach!!! Beautifully clean, well maintained beach. We managed to shoot some interesting snaps too. There were not too many people too, so we could do as much masti as we wanted without being "watched/scrutinized".

But once on the beach, all forgot about everything else.Completely relaxed in the cool breeze and blue water hitting the shores.I went to a beach after ages and became a child once again! Ran around, collected shells, held M's hand and played splashing water as we ran in the beach.(Thanks Arvind for a cute snap..will treasure it for a long time to come).Enjoyed sitting by the shore and just watching the waves crash the shore. A Wave, tells you in its quiet way, all that goes down, comes up, and all that is up, comes down. A very huge lesson, if understood, can make a profound impression upon you.There is so much good around us, yet we find faults, crib and be pessimistic about life. I somehow made up my mind, that i will only be a good-finder from now on. Will be extreemely cheerful, positive, take all the good with the bad. Because i have learnt from the wave, that if i am down today, i am going to be UP tomorrow.Promise!

After ages, the friend crowd got together.Felt Rajesh's presence a lot during those moments. Sometimes miss him so much that a lump forms in the throat. I have promised myself, will always remember him for the good person he was and try to be of some support to his family and will do some good to the society. It will be my little way of showing him that i miss him very much.Had got so used to him being around, a 6 footer with a pleasing smile and twinkling eyes brimming with miscief. We will always feel your presence amongst us.You are missed Rajesh.Very much.This post would have been grossly incomplete if i had not mentioned you. Because all of us rememebered you , all our eyes were moist at one point of time or the other , all our hearts were heavy and yet words remained unspoken.May you be at peace buddy.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Strange

Strange is the way of Life,
Shows you a stream, Says Go on, Swim.
Then comes along someone who says,
No dont. The current is far too strong.

Strange is the way of Life,
Shows you a flower, Says Go on, Pick it.
Then comes along someone who says,
No, dont. Thats not what flowers are for.

Strange is the way of Life,
Shows you people,Says Befriend them.
Then comes along someone who says,
No, dont. People may talk.

Strange is the way of Life,
Shows you a path,Says walk on it.
Then comes along someone who says,
No, dont. Its not very safe, this road.

Friday, February 15, 2008

My Angel!

Even after writing 3 testimonials for her, i am still not satisfied. So here comes a post! This is just for YOU angel!

We met 8 years ago..A seemingly quiet person with a powerful presence, a sweet smile, polite ways ,who would have thought that a casual meeting would become a bond that would last this long even after mind-blowing misunderstanding , which caused a year long silence. But, i am so very very glad that things got cleared up and that incident just made the bond stronger.

Over the years, she has played the role of so many people in my life.She has been my strength, my weakness , my sister, my guide , my buddy.

One of those rare species of women who can drive any damn vehicle with equal ease as guys do..Ever ready with soothing words, a warm hug when depressed, who would implicitly hold my hands when i used to be home-sick, ensure that i always ate at the right time, ensured that i took my medicines, held me everytime i cried, was proud of me everytime i did smething worthy (which was not very often!!) , gave me a whack when i drove fast on the highway ;)
All the crazy times we had, the midnite b'day celebrations, both our trips to the hospital , the innumerable train journeys of blr-pune-blr , our lonavla trip with the gang , our shiridi trips, thise trips to the city, movies, CCds, shopping sessions, crazy mad time with Rosh,gosh..what soooper days we have had!!

What a wonderful friend i have..one of the many things i need to be thankful to God for..is my Manasi..God bless u and may every dream of yours come true..Smile more, work less, take Very good care of your health and rememeber i need you around till my very last breath!!

I wish i can be even half as good to you as you have been to me!

Cheers to our friendship and pray that it lasts forever.I know i have not done justice to our bond with this small paragraph!!

This post is my gift to you (you know why!)

Sue Loves You :-)

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Bookmark

Feb 02 2008.Just to bookmark this day in my dairy.The day i got introduced to Dikshitar kritis by EAA,SK,SP.EAA has been sending me songs, every now and then to improve my listening skills. Somehow never got into my head.Heard SK sing and SP on the guitar. Numbed. Totally. U guys are gurus. Period. EVER grateful to you all.

I bow down to the 3 of you for showing me this path to walk on. Million..no make tht Zillion Thanks :)

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Hello..Naan XYZ Pesaren..

Caller: Hello, eppdi irukkenga?
VJ : TV Volume kammi pannunga
Caller: Panniten ga
VJ: Hello..unga per enna
Caller: Naan Bharathidasan pesarenga , tivanmayoor lendhu.
VJ: Maruthidasan-a??
Caller: illanga bharathi bharathidasan
VJ : Oh appdiya..nallarkeengla? (the VJ still did not get the name right)
Caller:naan nalla irukken ga..neenga ?
VJ : enna pannrenga? TV volume innum konjam kammi pannidunga. (standard dialogue again!)
Caller: naan mechanic a work pannrenga
VJ : appdiya..yennoda car la problem irunda solve pannuvengla? TV paathutu pesadeenga..phone la concentrate pannunga ok va?
Caller: kandippanga..enga ooku vaanga..enga veetukku vanga
VJ: kandippa varenga.Enna paadal venum?
Caller: edavadhu nalla MGR padal podunga
VJ: kandippa ..dho ungalukkaga inda paadal..yarukkavadhu dedicate pannanuma??
Caller: Amma, appa, paati, tatha, maami, chitti,chitappa, nai kutti and poona kutti kki appram nethi zoo la paatha yanai kutti kaagavum kooda 'dedicat' pannaren.

Promptly a 'actor' Sivaji Ganeshan song comes on screen!

So much for wonderful Live Shows!! You need to wear tight fitting clothes (i am all the time scared for the people, i feel they will soffocate and wont be able to breathe in those clothes), glaring/jarring make-up, Looong earring, speak tam like english, be an expert at messing up names,places etc,and giggle needlessly, and oh yea, play the Wrong request. This is great entertainment.Period.

New Look!

Yipeee!! Just decided that my blog looked way too coulourless and cheerless...So just for the heck of it, changed it to my all time FAV colour. You may think what you like, but PINK it is and PINK it will be for a while! Just reminded me of all the then frequent shopping sprees..used to pick up pink t-shirts, pink shoes, pink salwar kameez, pink bangles and pink what not much to my mom's "how many more pinks are you gonna buy..you just bought 3 pink tops the other day Vasu...please stop it!" kind of looks ! I even wanted my bedroom to be painted pink, but did not quite express the desire, since this is not going to be 'my' permanent home sinf snif.Well. a fact actually. Howmuch ever i wish to live with my parents all my life, not quite possible.Thanks to the lovely society we live in.Take a bow society dearest. No clue, why i am being so cynical today, but what the heck! I till love PINK and all shades of pink. Baby pink especially.Looks nice on anyone and everyone.

Pink is here to stay to chase my blues away! Oh My! day by day improvement teriyardhu Sue :-)

Sunday, January 6, 2008

New Year..

Bharani called to wish me a Happy New Year and told me that she was going to an NGO called 'Nele Nagendra' to distribute some books, pencils,bat and ball and some eatables for the 75 odd boys in the ashram aged 3-15.

This truly was one of those days that taught lessons on sharing, being for one another, being kind to another human being, spreading smiles. I did not do all this.I learnt all this from those little ones there. Bharani gave a buiscut to a little boy there,who had just gotten back from school (obviously hungry), he immediately broke it into two and extended one half to me! I could not belive my eyes! I was amazed at their love for each other and those smiles, despite knowing that they had no parents. Some of them had parents, but they had just left them in the ashram and never bothered to visit to check on their wards.

They sang for us, we made them tell stories. I sang a little prayer song for them. The caretaker noted down the song and promised to teach them.
In all, a day that moved me very deeply and made me take a resolution that i will never crib for small things or sulk. Also resolved to do whatever little i can and return to the society that i take so much from. A new year day that i will remember for a long time to come.

With a silent prayer in my heart for every child in Nele and in other such organizations, i would like to end this post.

PS: Thanks for patiently reading and request you to do what little you can to brighten up the lives of these kids.They surely deserve a much better life.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

She weeps

She weeps.
Her tears did not disolve his resolve to leave.
the pain tore her heart to pieces.
She knew she had to move on.
Her feet would not move two inches forward.

What could she do other than weep?
nothing she said bought him back
A hard reality to live with.
A constant pain and a constant memory now is left.

Why? she asks time and again
Come back. she says and again tries to stop him
He shakes her off and goes away.
She weeps.


PS:No clue why i wrote this.